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How To Handle A Stalker
The media often tries to glamorize stalking as romantic and a sign that someone cares about you. But anyone who has dealt with a stalker in real life will tell you that it is the exact opposite of that.
If someone is stalking you, you know how traumatizing living with fear can be.
Stalking affects one out of every twenty women sometime during their lives. But that doesn't mean that you have to be a helpless victim. There are ways you can protect yourself from those that mean you harm.
If you're looking for information about how to handle a stalker, keep reading.
Types of Stalkers
In order to understand how to protect yourself from a stalker, you have to understand who these stalkers can be. We'll talk for a bit about the different kinds of stalkers and how to avoid them.
The Rejected Stalker
The rejected stalker starts stalking after you end the relationship with them. They want to continue to be in some kind of a relationship, or they want to get revenge on you for ending the relationship.
This kind of stalker is jealous and narcissistic and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. They will try to intimidate and hurt you while they stalk.
The Resentful Stalker
The resentful stalker has a very specific purpose: they want to make you feel scared or worried. They start this effort after they feel as though you have oppressed or humiliated them.
You might notice that this kind of stalker acts irrational and paranoid and they might start stalking someone because they have an affiliation with a group that they disagree with. This could be someone they know or a total stranger.
This kind of stalking is relentless and obsessive. They aren't afraid to threaten and assault the person they are attempting to stalk.
The Predatory Stalker
This kind of stalker is looking to plan their attack on the victim. They are looking to get power over you through pain, usually some kind of sexual assault.
This kind of person has bad self-esteem and has a hard time functioning in society, especially during romantic relationships. And like with the resentful stalker, they don't have to know you in order to stalk you.
These people don't try to harass their victims as they are stalking them. They try to be quiet, so they know when to attack. This kind of stalker ends their stalking with a violent attack.
The Intimacy Seeker
The intimacy seeker will try to create a loving relationship with their victims, or they will already believe that their victims are in love with them. This type of stalker is delusional and dangerous.
They will find a way to turn any kind of response from you, even negative responses, into proof and encouragement of your love for them.
This person is shy and isolated, and they will also stalk even if they don't know someone.
If they believe you reject them, they have a high risk of becoming violent.
What to Do if Someone is Stalking You
If you believe you have a stalker, there are a number of things you can do to attempt to get them to stop. However, stalkers are persistent. So you may need to take extra precautions to protect yourself.
Don't Be Nice
No one likes to be mean to anyone. And it's in our nature to attempt to settle things in a calm way first. However, when you try to be nice and gentle to a stalker, it sends them mixed signals.
In their delusional mind, they start to think that they have a chance if they can keep at it.
It's never your job to tell your stalker why you don't want a relationship with them. Explain to them that you aren't interested and that you expect them to respect that.
But only do this once. Be firm and leave it at that.
As soon as you think you might have a stalker on your hands, you have to be firm and aggressive.
Stop All Contact
As we mentioned before, a stalker believes that all attention is good attention. This means that right from the outset when it becomes clear that your stalker won't listen to you and leave you alone, you need to stop all forms of contact with them.
Never try to meet up with your stalker. Don't call them back, don't send them a note, don't do anything that could indicate to them that you have an interest in speaking to them. They are looking for any response from you. As long as you give them one, they will keep coming.
It's an unfortunate fact, but sending the police after your stalker won't do a lot of good. Unless the stalker commits a crime, there isn't much the police can do.
Even if you try to get a restraining order, it can backfire. Some stalkers become angrier as the court attempts to take action.
If your stalker is still in the early stages, you might have some luck involving the police. However, if this is a long-running issue, it's probable that you won't thwart them with police involvement.
At the end of the day, the best way to make sure that a stalker won't hurt you is to protect yourself.
You can take passive measures, like keeping your address private and using a PO box. Keep a record of every incident of stalking and keep the police updated.
However, it's also a good idea to keep your house, your car, and your person secure at all times.
Protect Your House
You can protect your house by keeping the hedges trimmed so you always have a good line of sight outside. Keep an alarm set at all times and consider installing security cameras, either real or fake, around to deter your stalker.
Protect Your Car
It's a good idea to never park in a garage where you have to give your keys up in order to park. If you have to, only leave the ignition key and take the key fob with you.
Keep your gas cap and hood locked up. If you believe someone is stalking you while you drive, head to your local police station and blow the horn until you are safe.
You can protect yourself with a variety of different self-defense methods. First, invest in some self-defense classes. There's nothing quite like the first-hand experience to teach you how to stand up to your stalker.
Laws about stun guns vary by state, but look up your local laws and consider carrying a stun gun for extreme situations. Other good ideas are personal alarms and pepper sprays.
How to Handle a Stalker
Knowing how to handle a stalker can be hard. But there's nothing worse than having your privacy and personal space invaded by someone who won't take no for an answer. If you have a stalker, it's important that you take steps to protect yourself.
For more information about self-defense, visit our website today.
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